Ripping Through High School

Brandon Kwandibens Contributor

You don’t have to like it. Just do it. This mantra is the only rule for a high school drop out’s success.

In that situation, it took me one year and two months to receive what should have been mine four years ago. It seemed longer than that when I sat down to do my schoolwork close to every day.

At 16, I lived in Longlac, On. but I went to high school in nearby Geraldton. In my third year I dropped out having earned only four-and-a-half credits. I was defiant and anxiety got the best of me, so I ended up in and out of young offenders custody. During that time, I earned two more credits. I simply didn’t listen when people told me to do anything unless I wanted to. I didn’t go to school. Unknowingly I was falling in a hole where success becomes non-existent. During custody, I was taken to the Underground Gym and Youth Centre in Thunder Bay where I was introduced to Peter Panetta, the gym’s owner. He offered to train me using focus pads on my visits, which I did.

After my discharge from custody, there were still a few schools in Longlac I would try to register at after I returned home and one I refused to turn to. When the options for me ran out in Longlac, I finally left for Thunder Bay. I soon registered at a school on my arrival, but I didn’t even last two weeks. I always felt I had something better to do, which I didn’t. It got boring and pretty depressing. Not being in school or working, I mostly slept until noon. I never did anything productive during the days so I dedicated myself to combat training on my own. I gave myself a sense of purpose this way. I later rediscovered amateur boxing by dropping in on Panetta at the Underground Gym again one day and it helped keep me away from the criminal element and out of trouble. I went to training a few hours a night. I knew how to pack a punch, but I didn’t know how to box.

While practicing Peter said I hurt his hands. Boxing taught me how to keep my overall health and physical shape at its peak. After a time, I stopped smoking and began going out for morning runs whenever I woke up. These changes I made in my life gave me reasons to keep going.

One day, Peter noticed that I had made major physical improvements and he asked me if I was interested in going to Minneapolis, Minn. to participate in an exhibition boxing match. At that moment, I felt the power of my spirit explode throughout my body and my lifetime of despair was suddenly gone. Finally I was going to have an honest chance to test my skills. I just didn’t ever expect it to be boxing because it was a lot different from what I am used to. The moment before the bells went off to start the match my mind was clear. I don’t remember being nervous or scared… I remember getting ready. My record is 1-1-0 in boxing.

Meanwhile, I did a lot of studying about the sport of boxing for a good chunk of that time, which is the same idea with school. That’s how I knew I could graduate because I trained long and hard when I knew I could have been doing schoolwork. All I needed to do was get back in, but I was getting too old.

One day I was minding my business on the Thunder Bay Transit (city bus) when I noticed a sign that read: Lakehead Adult Education Centre. It also said it was for people who had been a dropout for two years or more. That described me. I went to get information that I didn’t have to pay for. I learned I just needed a few pieces of identification, a transcript and about $60 to register.  I sorta had a hard time getting a transcript because my first school got rid of my files: I’d been gone for quite a while. This wouldn’t have happened had I not been hard headed in the first place. There was nothing I could do except blame myself. This was when I learned no one makes it far running away from responsibilities like this one.

My most recent transcript was contained within the ill-fated walls of where I had been in custody with a teacher I had no choice but to contact in order to realize my goal. I phoned him and said I am aiming to graduate. He agreed to help me and within two weeks, dropped off my ticket to register.

Starting all over was the worst part. Twenty years young and so determined to catch up from where I had been left behind. It filled my soul with an endless urge to earn that diploma. Even after stress and exhaustion distorted my mental and physical abilities, I still managed to discipline myself to keep going. All the work was time consuming and often hurt my head. I really struggled with math. The only math I was ever good at was counting money. That math teacher was usually busy with other students inside my new school. I could see that they needed just as much help as I did, so I asked a few friends to help tutor me from time to time. Even with help from a teacher and a few friends, I still barely passed.

I felt incomplete knowing I didn’t graduate from high school. The main reason I always encourage people to finish is because I don’t want them to be stranded in a darkness where others benefit from their failure. I came to a point where noise or being hit didn’t even make me flinch. I only focused on finishing what I had started like resolving a conflict with another person or concentrating on my schoolwork. That’s when I learned to trust my own good judgment and to do my best to prevent losing faith in myself.

I also learned not to depend on anyone to get something done for me. It feels different to help lead a generation forward in society’s eyes. I don’t want to lead our youth toward insecurity and guidance if I know they won’t prosper.

Now, I am 22 years young and I have my well-earned Ontario Secondary School Diploma with no criminal record and some amateur boxing experience. I’m proud of myself. I feel as if a piece of my past has bled away like it never existed. Memories are all they are now. They are memories I don’t need, but I can never forget them. I still train in boxing, but it’s more of a hobby now. I have been considering getting into competitive boxing.

Dedication, determination and discipline are what you really need. And these are attributes no one can give you. Learn to build them and success will be in your grasp. Remember to always look forward and stay on top of failure.

Brandon “Little Bear” Kwandibens
Whitesand First Nation