A Father’s love

One day as the sun was shining down upon this world there was a young man, and this young man had an idea of what life should be like and what should be in it. Little did he know what was in store for him.

As he strolled up the road one day in late spring he came across a visitor. A visitor that would change his life and his thoughts of this world for all his days.

As he walked along, out of the corner of his eye he could see the grass move. His curiosity had gotten the best of him. As the young man approached the movement in the grass, he was astonished with what lay on the ground before his feet. He leaned down and picked up what he had found and feelings that he has never felt before came across him.

Wondering what happened to the little (gift) visitor that lay near his feet. He started walking while looking closely at its many colors, the hues of green, pink, white, gold, red and a tad bit of yellow around the eyes.

Just then the little miracle had come to and left his hand. A sense of lonesomeness came upon the young man’s heart and spirit Not thinking much of it the young man continued on his way. He soon forgot about that day.

Five months later a baby was brought into this world on the best day of November. It seemed that the sun was shinning even more brightly then usual.

Nearing eight o’clock in the morning, a beautiful girl was born. By the most beautiful and loving mother that any little girl could ask for. Making that day the most special day in that young man’s life.

This father had fallen in love with two of the best people that would come across him in his life time. Knowing this he put his everything, all of what he knew how to feel into the new spirits that surrounded him.

Some months later that baby was in need of her name so that the spirits would recognize this child in this world that we live in. Anishanahbay people do this so the spirits in the other place will know who we are. When we ask for help we use our first names not the names of the chimookmaan people.

About 20 people were attending this naming ceremony. The little girl had five sponsors, one for each direction and one extra because she was a special girl. The first great-grand baby of the family.

During this ceremony the pipe keeper looked at the young man and said “This little girl has already come to see you. Her name is Ninokaysay.”

The pipe carrier had asked the young couple to repeat this name four times and so they did. Not knowing what he was saying he said it out loud four times. Then the pipe carrier told the young man that the girls name is Little Humming Bird. Tears filled his eyes and a lump grew in his throat. Standing in front of these people he tried to swallow but could not. The day of his walking up the road and finding what he found in the grass that day in June overwhelmed him.

That little thing he found in the grass was a little humming bird. The colors on that little bird were the same colors that were given to the little girl on that day.

Knowing this he felt like the one person that brought this little gift into this world would always be with him.

Being young and taking this for granted he didn’t do the things that he was supposed to. Being there for his new family, instead he was out with his friends and never around. He should have stayed, instead of asking for time out. He should have rubbed her back and made bottles instead of making her feel bad. A father’s love, and this was love he would say. This was not love that he showed. It was control he wanted.

Now with a broken spirit he knows what he should have done, he never felt more sorry in his life for what he done to this young woman and her new born baby.

As time passed the pain grew more. Seeing his girl grow so fast when all he wanted, was to see her and be with her while she is growing.

It was too late.

A father’s love.

He treated them wrong and now for many years he is now empty inside. Trying to love when all his love is elsewhere. Missing what was brought to him with his heart everyday.

Missing some of his mind, body and spirit everyday. If he was able to go back and live it all again I know that he would make it so the love between the three of them, would be unbreakable. I know that he has never been more sorry about anything in his life and misses them every night and day.

Soon he will learn to swallow that lump in his throat. Soon he will learn to forgive himself and not hate.

Boonandama chijhemnado Thank you for the family that you taught me to love.

A father’s love.

By Brendan Syrette
Batchewana First Nation